Back!

Just got back form YLDP last Saturday! I miss YLDP!!!

So fun! I wish i was feeling better though. Was in such a lazy mood most of the time there *sigh*. I guess that's wat happens when ur sleeping clock is haywire. I had lethargy running through my veins since 'after SPM'. Was so bz that i never got the much needed sleep n rest.

Advice: Dont let ur sleeping become like mine (4am-7am continued by 4pm-8pm during SPM). It really spoils the 'after SPM' celebration.

There was an up side to it though. Without all the crazy screaming and running, i didnt lose my voice during camp, i didnt fall even once, and no injuries for once! Amazing! For an accident prone person like me.

The lethargy is slowly running out and sleeping clock is going back to normal. Not yawning so much in the evening anymore and can sleep at 1-2am aedi. Trying to bring it back up to 12am. Hopefully, i'll b back to the energiser bunny mode by SSS Camp. Heheheh...

Is late, Mum complaining.. will crap here again another time.

Audrey OUT!

Plans

School friends, SSS friends, church friends, YLDP friends, old friends, and whoever else i know who's trying to reach me, after SPM time i planned with most of u all to meet up with. However, my schedule is so packed. So to save u all time, I'll just tell y'all my whole schedule so u'll know when im free and wat im up to.

Dec 2: SPM OVER!! YEAHOO!!! Go KLCC with school friends.
Dec 3: Catch up on sleep and do all sorts of random but neccessary errands.
Dec 4: Go to church, go to KLCC with church friends.
Dec 5-10: Go to YLDP!!!
Dec 11-14: Go to S'pore (Dad works there)
Dec 14: Back to KL
Dec 15-18: Go to SSS Camp!!!
Dec 19-Jan 3: Dunno yet. Most probably will be back in S'pore.
Jan 4 -26 Feb: Jeremiah School (with a 1 week break in between for CNY)

Hardly seems like i got any free time... Sorry if i dont get to meet up with u ppl.

So sleepy.. Will blog properly another time.

Praise Him

Doxology

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above, Ye heavenly host,
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
Amen.

Brain teaser test

I just took The Brainteaser Test

The Brainteaser Test = http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=3042&type=t

Pretty interesting results i got. The results:

Audrey, you answered 23 out of 30 questions correctly!

Congratulations! Your score is in the 91st percentile. This means that if one hundred people took the test with you, your score would rank higher than 90 of them on average.

When we analyzed your test, we also discovered that when it comes to quantitative ability, you measure in the 91st percentile. This score indicates you have unusually strong abilities when it comes to solving numerical problems. If there is a numerical pattern to be found, you'll find it. You've got a knack for noticing when something "isn't right." Whether you're conscious of it or not, you have an ability to simply understand when something doesn't add up. Also, when it comes to splitting the check, doing taxes, or determining the number of fans in a baseball stadium, you're the one people turn to.

The End.

Right, i have a knack for numerical pattern? But i hate math and science! OK, not modern math since i do well for that. But i hate add math! i hate all the math stuff in Bio, Kimia, and Fiz. Accounts is another one i cant stand.

Tests like this just gives weird results.

SPM year: Suffer? Yes, suffer.

And now i see.. and now i know..

SPM year aint as fun as my ex-form 5 friends claimed it to be. Yes, the friendships are great, having a block all to ourselves (top 6 form 5 classes) no need to share with any other class is great too, ruling the school cos you're the most senior there among the students (the new form 6-s arent counted cos they're new. It's not their territory) makes one feel big and authoritive and the right to fully use the 'sombong and sarcastic form 5' thing is actually quite fun cos it makes the younger ones so terrified of you it's sometimes funny. Little things like that is fun, but the important thing in being in form 5 is the one that sucks the most and bring about the suffering.

Now that i've finally discovered the real and hidden suffering behing the pretty picture my ex-form 5 friends painted, i wished i believed what the adults and long ago students who are more 'real'. The very same that got me annoyed at the beginning of the year. I wrote about it in my very first blog entry at the beginning of the year. Had i believed them, i would've been more prepared to face this suffering.

Aint any fun at all, studying from morning to afternoon to evening to night to early morning, and then it repeats itself again the next day, and the next and so on.. There's so much to study, you wont know which one to study first. Which subject should i choose? Would it be form 4 or form 5? Which chapter? Which sub chapter? Should do excercises or just study from the book? Should i work on learning things i never understood or strengten my knowledge on stuff i already know?

Now, i understand why many kept saying 'It's a tough n difficult year', 'u're gonna suffer', 'you wont get to play at all', 'you'll have to study 24/7', 'you'll get white hair if u havent already pulled it all out', 'you're not going to be able to be active in SSS anymore', 'u're gonna end up looking like einstein'.. n all the other horror stories that just went on n on n on... It's cos it's true. I've going through it now.. well, except for the white hair and einstein part. However i do look more or less like a panda bear.

There's only so little time left. What with pressure from everywhere, i'd feel guilty for relaxing. To emphasise my point, i gtg now.. now is one the rare time i get to on9, and it's not even for long, that's y i gtg now. Gotta go study *sigh*

SSS: Stronger than yesterday

I know, I use to love SSS at one moment n then hate it. It can make me so proud of it one second, then SO MAD at it the next. The frustrations n challenges i faced seem never ending, the things i did seem useless.. but then, at the end of the day, when things go well, everything i did just seem worth it.

During the hard times exspecially, I use to think that SSS brought me down, made life worse, sucked out my fun, make me lose my friends (or at least, make me hardly know them anymore), and weakened my faith cos challenges just keep coming my way. I sure was wrong.

Now, after stepping down from being SSS President after my term was over, I realise, that SSS had done a lot more for me than I ever thought possible.

It actually made me a stronger person, a better person, kept me in touch with God and made me a better leader!

I still did in a way, lose my closest friends. I don’t know them as much as I used to. But then again, when I think about it, it is because of that, that I had actually stopped being ‘clickish’ and had become more open to know others and made many more friends. Something I couldn’t really do, if I had stuck on to my closest friends all the time. I may have lost something, but I had gained more.

Being a leader in SSS had also made me realise that there's better things in life that I can do instead of just having fun all the time. In the Stacie Orrico's song 'More To Life', she sang 'There's gotta be more to life...Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me'. Yes, there IS more to life than that! And I found it in God. It is by serving Him that I find meaning and satisfaction in life.

Best of all, being a leader in SSS strengthened my faith. I was dumb enough to think SSS was wrecking my spiritual life. I thought it was making me lose my trust in God, but instead, it really really taught me to trust in Him and rely on Him more. MUCH more.

Eventhough SSS was discouraging and kinda 'brought me down'. The discouragement is what made me strive to work harder! Become better! Trust God more! and in the end, I just became stronger! Than I ever thought that I could be.

This is MY version of the Britney Spears song 'Stronger'

Oh, yeah!..
Now I’m… Stronger than yesterday!
Now it’s nothing but God's way!
My doubtful self ain’t killing me no more.
I’m stronger!

Than I ever thought that I could be.
I used to do things my way. Didn’t really trust in God
You might think that I can't last long, but you’re wrong
‘Cause now I’m… STRONGER!

Now, everything is clearer, and I cannot thank God enough for choosing me to be a leader in SSS. Though it was hard, it was worth it. It’s not really because I’m a better leader or a better person. It is mainly because I have learned to trust Him more and have grown stronger in my faith in Him.

SSS: The on9 community

did u know? or do u remember? our on9 community?

www.circles99.com/s2

it's a SSS on9 community founded few years back. it's like dead now. what shame! how could it become like this? everyone! go back there n revive it! for the sake of SSS, please! Go tell everyone bout it!

Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere!
Go tell it on the mountain that SSS on9 community exists!

Dun ask me y it's s2. I hate giving names. Plus, every other name i tried that wasnt too long was taken anyway.

s2 = 2s = Sunday School.

i know it should b like s3 for Senior Sunday School but then s3 was already taken. So s2 it is.

U want me to eat grasshoppers!

The title says it all. Grasshopper eating! Interesting. Very interesting indeed. Me a person who is quite terrified by insects (this includes butterflies) eating grasshoppers? It is no joke. n it aint easy. This proves the power of peer pressure.

Today when i went to school, lo n behold! my wonderful eccentric friends had a surprise for me! i was thinking, 'Aww.. how nice of them!' But the thought didnt last for long when they took out the grasshoppers n dangled it in my face. With evil n determined grins, they told me i was to eat it up. I was like 'What?! eat GRASSHOPPERS? u gotta b nuts!' But i could not get away from it. They were just too determined to make me eat up at least one grasshopper.

I had missed school yesterday n i missed out on the grasshopper eating session, but my oh SO wonderful friends were just SO thoughtful! They saved about 5 grasshoppers for me. Interesting, how they could save the grasshoppers but not a bit of food from a birthday party in school that i also missed yesterday.

So, there i was sitting with the grasshopper in front of me, n all my friends watching intently. There was no way for me to get out of it. They had all tried one and now, it was my turn. I was thinking, if they could do, well, so could I. It should be easy, i thought. With a sudden brave heart i reached into the plastic bag to pick up a grasshopper. But as soon as i looked at the grasshopper, the little bravery i had for that few seconds vanished. It just looked so.. insect-like. Augh! the eyes looking out at me, it's wings, the legs! i could see it all. i couldnt touch it, it was so gross! But of course, with all the peer pressure, i had to do it. So i picked it up. Augh! It's dead body in my fingers! an insect, i was touching with my bare fingers! Oh, one down, 3 more to go.

Now to the next challenge. Putting it in my mouth. The insect was STARING at me! n i did not want to imagine wat it would feel like in my mouth. that gross insect's body getting crushed up in my mouth. the juices from its body flowing into my mouth n into my system. It's wings, it's legs! they could get stuck in my teeth! or down my throat. i must've been dreaming when i thought it would b easy. I tried force my hand to put it into my mouth. It only went into my mouth, but i could not let it drop into my mouth. I took it out n stared at the grasshopper again. The thought of it being in my mouth was flooding my brain. Finally, i just shut my brain n tossed the grasshopper into my mouth. i quickly chomped down on it trying not to imagine it in my mouth.

but HEY! it wasnt so bad after all. i was surprised! It didnt taste like anything, and it was pretty crunchy. Quite nice to chomp on actually. But the fact of it being a grasshopper made me quickly swallow it down. Ahh.. done! it was over! though it wasnt too bad, i didnt wanna do it again. i thought it would probably b 10 years before i ate another grasshopper. But 10 years came about 10 minutes later for me. All my friends had a video of them eating the grasshoppers, n i didnt. Soon, i was convinced by my friends to eat another grasshopper n have it on video. They said that with the video, i could show it to other ppl n have proof that i really did eat a grasshopper. Augh! i cant believe they did that to me! Why didnt they think of it when i was eating the first one!

And so, i ate another grasshopper for the video. Having had eaten a grasshopper before did not help much with the 2nd one. My 2nd grasshopper was bigger than the first one and had even bigger legs. This time, it was harder to chomp on, and it was crunchier n a bit tougher. and as i swallowed it down, one of its legs got stuck in my throat! i could not get it down till MUCH later. and there was bits grasshopper shell n legs stuck all over my teeth! It was gross! All this for the sake of having proof that i DID eat the grasshopper. So, to all u ppl out there who dont believe me, i have the proof!

This sure is one experience that i DONT want to repeat.

Mysteries of SSSers

'We want games! ...but we dowanna play the games organised'

'I come to SSS to see my friends, but im bz smsing my friends far far away'

'No one's jumps during worship sessions!'
'What? U want me to start jumping? No way!'

'I'm not back gonna sing back-up for the worship session, no way! Malu la, sing in the mike'
*answers ringing hp* 'Haahh? Karaoke ah? OK, I'll b there!'

'I cant play the piano for SSS'
'What grade am I? Oh, grade 8'

'Go Just Praise Concert ah? RM3 ah? No money la!'
'How much does my shoes cost? Oh, RM300 only! Cheap cheap!'

SSS: The stupid things I do

As i sit back wondering what can i write in a long overdue blog entry, i suddenly recalled something stupid i did back in the SSS Camp last year (4-7 Dec 2004)

The SSS Camp was held at the PD Methodist Centre, which had a slippery kind of cement floor which made the place a kind of danger zone for someone as accident prone and clumsy as me. The floor in my dorm and at the corridor just outside the hall had the 2 most slippery floors. It was dangerous for me exspecially in my dorm cos i had a tendency to run in and out of it and my no-grip sandals werent any help either. The girls in my dorm were all witnesses to this. Many times, I've dashed into the dorm, skidded and almost fall or knock into one of the beds/ladders.

One the third day of camp, just before afternoon tea, i somehow got involved in a sliding/skidding competition with Justin right outside the hall. The corridor was empty except for my mom who was WAY ahead, and Carol who was somewhere there (I didnt notice her at first). I was first to slide. That Justin, smart boy, ask me to go first to test the waters and be the guinea pig. The slide was great! that is, up till my feet came across a part of the cement that wasnt smooth. Then i went crashing and rolling on the ground. What a wonderful thing! Just what i wanted to do! [Yeah, right].

My mom was like, 'Aiyo.. see la, play somemore' *shaking her head*
Carol went, 'OMG Audrey! Are you OK?' *Very much amused and half laughing*

and to my horror, Pastorpher (the speaker) and his wife had come out of the hall just in time to see my wonderful fall. Great. They too, of course, expressed their concern, but good thing they didnt make a big deal about it.

And the Oh-so-wonderful-gentlemanly (yeah right) Justin was like Carol, very much amused and half laughing. and he said in his typical Justin slang, 'U OK ah?'

My knees hurt like hell! But of course, i was cool.. on the outside at least. I just laughed it off in front of everyone, hoping no one notice my shaky voice. NO WAY was i going to let my mom know it hurt like hell at that moment, and not in front of Pastorpher and his wife.

After my fall, i should've just ended the 'competition', got up, and join all the other SSSers for tea. But the pain in my knees! I could not move just yet. So to cover it up, i told Justin, it's his turn to slide. That lucky boy, he slid VERY carefully. After that, i just HAD to get up! i had no more good excuses and i couldnt just sit there alone on the floor in the middle of an empty corridor when everyone else was in the canteen happily eating. I couldnt get up by myself. It really hurt that badly. Luckily for me, Justin knew how freakin painful my knees were and was actually nice enough to help me up.

My mom was waiting nearby. I put on a cover up smile and i forced my legs to walk as normally as possible towards her, ignoring the stupid pain in my knees.

When i reached her, she went, ' You, big girl already still play like this'
and i went, 'What's wrong? I'm fine! I'm always fine!'
then she just shook her head.

I went to join Carol's table for tea, but i had a bit of a problem trying to sit down. My knees couldnt bend without hurting like hell! I had to drop on the chair with the help of my hands, and it didnt help either that my knee knocked the stupid table leg. After that, i checked my knees and to my amazement, my knees were already visibly greatly bruised and swollen. That was fast! Getting up later was a problem too. I had forgotten bout the pain in my knees. As i was trying to get up, i was wondering why the hell cant my knees move! Then it came back to me. Yeah, the stupid fall.

Walking around wasnt as fast as usual, and going up the more or less 10 steps towards the dorms wasnt easy either. I had to hold on to the sides for help, and even with that, i was as slow as some 70 year old lady with arthirities! Oh! lucky me had to fall just hours before the last night of camp too! and i was to worship lead that night! It's a good thing i doscovered later that I was OK walking on flat land. Just as long as i didnt need to bend my knees much.

The last horror, i discovered just before i was going to sleep. How the hell was i going to climb up to my bed on the upper bunk? Oh, i sure did manage it in the end. But the pain i had to go through! Crazy!

And so, the days went by like this. All through the rest of the SSS Camp and then YLDP. The pain in my knees steadily lessened of course (just a bit though). But the big bad bruises stayed there for a REAL long time! Everyone in SSS camp who saw it asked me about it, then everyone in YLDP who saw it asked me about it too. Embarassing!

The colours on the bruises were pretty interesing. It turned into colours like blackish blue, blackish purple, blue, purple, green, red, yellow, orange, brown. And at one time, Charlene, who was also at both SSS Camp and YLDP, pointed out that a bruise i had looked like Jesus! Jesus of all people! and she was quite right! God blessed my bruise! haha.. After all, it happened during a church camp!

When i came home, i took pictures of it. And measurements too :P. Mayb i'll post the pics and if i can find the measurements, i'll add it here.

That stupid fall sure made life at camp and later, at home, rather hard, but oh well, there's always a silver lining on every dark cloud. At least i won the sliding competition! Haha!

update: just added a pic of the bruises. i outlined it. the pic was taken bout 3 weeks after the fall, so the bruise has shunk n slightly disappeared. just imagine! 3 weeks n it's still there.

Crush Calculator!

There's this interesting page i came across.. Go check it out!

It does stuff like predicts your future Love life using some sort of advanced mathematical calculations based on the concept of human psychology and bla bla bla... U know la, how these things advertise themselves. But amazingly, it's kinda accurate if you answer the 15 questions honestly and seriously. Just go ahead and try it for fun la, after all, it's short, easy and you have nothing to lose!

You sure won't regret this!

This is the link, just click on it.
http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1117688587axw

Enjoy!

My SSS testimony

i was first elected into the SSS Committee as asst. worship+ music coordinator when i was 14. The enxt year, i was promoted to W+M Coordinator and the next, by God's grace, President. Today my term as President ends and I am both sad and glad about it.

I am sad because I will no longer be leading the committee to run the SSS. But i am glad that it is time for me to pass on my duties to another and b a SSSer. Free to hang around and serve God in a different way.

Being in the committee and President has developed my leadersip skills and exposed me to the frustrations and challenges a SSS President faces. Each challenge taught me a new lesson and I great stronger by eah challenge that came my way.

Two of the most important lessons I learnt was to always trust in God. Keep my eyes on Him, and remember that He's always there for me even when it seems like He isnt there. To be open to God and let Him touch my life. And to let him help me, and not keep my problem for myself to solve, thinking that God cant help me. (that was one of the stupidest things i ever thought)

The 2nd is to remember that we are serving God. Not ourselves, not our friends, or the teachers or pastors. It's all about God.

Seeing the SSS grow and improve has been very encouraging and i hope that we will all grow in faith and in numbers.

SSS AGM 2005 results!

SSS Committee 2005/2006

Prez: Lee Carol
Vice-Prez: Su'Ryn Wong
Secretary: Yvonne Liow
Treasurer: Daniel Choong
Worship+Music Coordinator: Jason Kok
Asst. W+M Coordinator: Bryan Yong
Fellowship+Membership Coordinator: Cassandra Lew
Asst. F+M Coordinator: Tan I-Lyn
Logistic Coordinator: Addison Ooh
Asst. Logistic Coordinator: Bernard Ho
Asst. Logistic Coordinator: Andrew Khong
Publicity Coordinator: Lum Ying Ling

What?! Still prez?

Yesterday (Apirl 17) was the SSS AGM and i sure was looking forward to it. about 4 weeks ago i wasnt feeling nicely towards SSS and i was tired of it all. So of course, knowing that my term would b over yesterday, it was something great to look forward to.

After the AGM i was smiling like crazy. I wasnt prez anymore after the AGM. Oh happy day! i felt like a great load was lifted from my shoulders. I felt like FREE! happy! free from my responsibilities! free from being so bz all the time! of course, i still stick around a lil to help Carol (the newly elected Prez) adjust to her new post but still! Im free!!! if anything in SSS goes wrong.. it aint my fault! wahahahaha.. what a wonderful feeling! no one's gonna b approaching me about the SSS's mischief.

Someone said to me 'Welcome back!' (refering to being a good ol' SSSer again)
and i was like, 'It's GREAT to b back!'

and it sure was great! immediately that day, i went down for lunch with the other SSSers, something i've been too bz to do for months, and it felt great! relaxed. enjoyable.

But then, on my way home, the bomb fell on me. Something teacher Phillip said earlier finally broke through the barriers of my brain. I and the rest of my committee still hold our posts till about June. Then only do we hand over our posts n responsibilities. Adoi.. that confusing system again (like last year). I thought we're not using that system anymore! These 2 months where both my committee (current) and Carol's committee (coming soon) are both 'functioning' is for my committee to mentor Carol's committee. Dont ask me any more questions about it. It's the teachers' idea.

Bah! who cares! everyone thinks Carol's committee is the current committee. So be it! i aint gonna correct anyone. I'll just sit back n mentor Carol as i should. I aint gonna act President in SSS even if i am according to the teachers.. wahahahahaha!!!

Sick n tired of it all

im sick n tired of being sick n tired of everything. I dont wanna get angry. i dont wanna b annoyed or bothered by anything or anyone. i just want to be 100% happy. Is it really that hard to feel that?

The stupid 'STUDY! for SPM' thing is bothering me 24/7 (parents) and SSS worries on my mind. Then there's the occasional 'friend' who's successfully making me see red. How to escape it all? How to keep my mind free n happy?

Probably only when SPM's over n hopefully after 2moro (SSS AGM), i'll have no more SSS worries. Oh well, i guess it's not that far off (after SPM time) since time's flying by like crazy these past 2 years. Let's hope i can feel 100% happy that time then.

Remember me this way

Every now and then, we find a special friend
who never lets us down.Who understands it all.
Reaches out each time you fall.
You're the best friend that I've found.
I know you can't stay.
A part of you will never ever go away.
Your heart will stay.

I'll make a wish for you. And hope it will come true.
That life would just be kind to such a gentle mind.
If you lose your way. Think back on yesterday.
Remember me this way.Remember me this way.

I don't need eyes to see the love you bring to me
no matter where I go. And I know that you'll be there
forever more apart of time, you're everywhere.
I'll always care

and I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you.
I'll be standing by your side and all you do
and I won't ever leave as long as you believe.

Remember Me This Way [Jordan Hill]

Untitled

I open my eyes, I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light. I can't remember how, I can't remember why, I'm lying here tonight. And I can't stand the pain. And I can't make it go away. No, I can't stand the pain. How could this happen to me! I made my mistakes. Got no where to run. The night goes on as I'm fading away. I'm sick of this life. I just wanna scream. How could this happen to me. Everybody's screaming. I try to make a sound but no one hears me. I'm slipping off the edge. I'm hanging by a thread. I wanna start this over again. So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered. And I can't explain what happened. And I can't erase the things that I've done. No I can't..

Simple Plan

SSS: Back to the good old games

Having been in the Senior Sunday School (SSS) committee for 3 years, one would know VERY well, that it is very difficult to organise games that everyone would enjoy. What with some SSSers thinking they're too cool to play 'such stupid n pointless' games that they wouldnt be caught playing cos it would spoil their image. Bah! As if being such a spoil sport would make their image better.

It is indeed very discouraging to plan games for the SSS cos everyone just dont seem to enjoy them. From silly n funny fun games to treasure hunts.. it's craziness how people just dont stop criticizing the games, saying 'It's so stupid', 'What's the point?', 'It's too difficult', 'It's too easy', 'So childish!', 'Too much running', 'You expect us to do THAT?!', 'It's so unhygenic!', 'Aiyah, dowan la.. so malu la..' and it just goes on n on n on..

They always demand for games, but when we plan games, they complain then dont wanna play it. When we lose our patience and ask them to plan it instead, they say "Alarr.. dun so like that la.. lazy la wanna plan, you do la". I'm like, "I do lah?! Ya la! That's what I'm doing wat? U all oni dowanna play!"

Too SSSers, you see the frustration we games coordinators face? We've tried so hard to find or plan a game that everyone would enjoy. We try so hard to make all of u realise how much fun you all can have if only you all would just allow yourself to let loose and allow yourself to have fun. Dont care about how silly you may look when you play the game. Everyone else around you are playing the game too. If they say u look silly playing the game, tell them they look silly too cos they too are playing the game.

Anyway, after 3 years trying to find a game that everyone would enjoy, i've finally found it! Last Sunday (13/3), of all days to discover IT! And who would've thought that this game, is THE game. An old favourite childhood game, totally childish and pointless, silly and crazy! THE game that we SSS game coordinators have been searching for.. IS... none other than CATCHING! Police and theif, Ice and water/fire.. watever it is. Just any form of the game catching.

It was such a big surprise to me. Seeing all the SSSers including me, running all over the Youth Centre, laughing and screaming. What a sight it must've been to outsiders seeing a big bunch of teenagers playing catching! It was a great delight seeing all the SSSers letting loose. FINALLY!

SMKTM: 5 blocks, 1 toilet

Interesting, how my school, a school with 5 blocks, 2 of them 4 storeys high, and 2 of them 3 storeys high, with a total of more or less 1890 students, has only got 1 toilet for girls and 1 for guys (btw, they've closed the unisex toilet. The school must've finally come to their senses over that.)

It wasnt so bad at first, when the girls' toilet was washed regularly and was in quite good condition. The doors and locks worked fine, the walls were quite free of graffiti, the toilet tanks, flushes, and pipies functioned well, except for one that rains (the tank overflows and drips on the user below), and the smell was actually quite OK.

Since the water cut last year, the condition of the toilet took a turn for the worse. There was no water in the toilet for a month, and the toilet sure stank. Eventhough the water has returned, the toilet never 'recovered' from it's 'sickness' up till now. Instead, it just steadily got worse.

Now, the toilet bowls are clogged up with water bottles and used pads; the mirrors all broken and gone; the walls covered in crude and stupid graffiti; the toilet cubicles' doors very tight, making the doors very difficult to open or close, and its locks all spoilt; the sinks clogged with tissue, paper, plastic bags, and the occasional chicken bones, and the sides colourful with water coloue paints carelessly splashed around by the art students; and the sink pipes below disappeared (no idea how), so the water in the sinks splash onto the floor and onto out feet.

Think that's bad? Just you wait, I left the worst for last. On the 8th of March, I guess an animal, or someone with very bad aim was purging in the girl's toilet. THe toilet was TOTALLY GROSS! Almost every toilet cubicle had a dark brown splatter of shit all over the sides of the toilet bowl. Shit was everywhere except IN the toilet bowl.

It amazes me, how anyone, exspecially GIRLS can be SO messy! so unhygenic! so gross! I wonder why do they have to spray or write crude stuff all over the walls. Don't they have anything better to do? And why did that purging fella have to go splatter her shit in EVERY cubicle? Note that there's about 10 cubicbles there. And if she just HAD to purge in every cubicle cant she wash it clean after using it? That was certainly the WORST toilet experience i ever had and i hope to NEVER see anything like it again.

Happy 17th Birthday to me!

What a way to start the day. I slept late the night before cos i was studying for the Kimia test i sat for today (yes, unfortunate me had a Kimia test on her birthday) and i wanted to sleep in till the last minute before i go to school. But then, well wishing people just had to sms me at 5am onwards. Therefore, disturbing my sleep and screwing up my handphone alarm that i depend on a LOT to wake up JUST in time for school.

I ended up fully waking up and getting out of bed at 7:21!!! and school starts at 7:20!! and it's an exam week! Believe it or not, i brushed my teeth, put on my uniform, get my water and recess food, and was down n out of the house in 4 minutes! Record time!! I dont normally eat breakfast but i was handed some hard homemade bread to eat just as i was going to the car, so i HAD to stuff it down my throat and it wasnt easy (i cant bear throwing it away, wastin food y'know). When i reached class i sure was in a rotten mood, birthday or not, and there in class were all my over cheerful friends wishing me happy birthday all at once and they started singing happy birthday to me! in my mind i was like, 'happy birthday? what happy birthday? I'm not happy at all! i slept late, din sleep well, woke up late, din get to get ready for school properly, had a kimia test starting in about 20 mins and i was STILL trying to stuff down the bread down my throat!' But i cheered up real fast.. exspecially after i managed to finish stuffing the bread down my throat.

The rest of my day went by pretty well, the moral n math test was easy, and my friends and i were playing very childish and stupid games that were of course, giler fun, between exams. Then i got to sleep for about 3 hours in the afternoon! it made up for the lost n disturbed sleep i had, and the weather was GREAT for sleeping (rainy, windy and cooling). Jeffrey, a friend i met from YLDP and havent heard from in quite some time, called me specially to wish me happy birthday (how nice!) and now, i get to be online! yippee!!

So, it was a happy birthday after all though it didnt start off well. For those of you who dont know, i hate Kimia, and i love sleeping!

Happy birthday to Michelle Wong from KL Wesley and Zennylyn from YLDP (dunno how to spell ur name, sorry) too! and James Wong whose birthday was yesterday!

YLDP: An introducion

YLDP= Youth Leadership Developement Program



It was held at PD Methodist Centre (2003, 2004) and is planned by TRAC Malaysia for youth leaders or future leaders.

I attended YLDP when I was 15 (2003) and again when i was 16 (2004). And i have totally NO regrets for spending a total of 9 days of my life and precious holidays there. Why, if there's YLDP this year too (and if im allowed to go), i would definitely go!

I was introduced to YLDP by my mom who went to YLDP when she was younger. She greatly encouraged me to attend the camp. She said it would help me grow in faith and in leadership skills. It sounded so boring, the way she described how the camp would be. She described very packed schedules packed full with talks and workshops. I, on the other hand just wanted fun, fun and fun! Exspecially at camps. I ended up going anyway cos my mom (a SSS teacher) made it compulsary for all committee members to attend the camp. I knew i would learn lots of things there, that would be useful in SSS, so i didnt put up a fight. i just went with the flow. And I'm VERY glad i did.

YLDP was the first camp i did not look forward to going to. I was afraid that it would be some boring solemn learning camp where i'd just go from talk to talk, counting the seconds till it's over. But at the same time, i was curious to know what YLDP had to offer.

Once i was there, my fears and worries disappeared one by one.. FAST! I enjoyed myself a LOT!!! The talks were really interesting! I could actually understand and relate to what was spoken. Believe it or not, i actually looked forward to the talks (something that i never did). I met youths from all over Malaysia who all have different kinds of characters, behaviour and lifestyles. It was interesting, and sometimes funny to hear about the things they do that seemed so foreign to me. Everyone was put into groups and we played games during our free time and during games time.

Most importantly, i learnt a lot of things that i actually found useful and my faith had a great big boost there. i was like, recharged! motivated! happy! It's cos of God's presense there; the great planning of the camp; genuinely caring speakers and helpers; caring, understanding and sensitive participants who want to seek God and learn more; and my own openness to people and God. I'm not like, writing an advertisement for YLDP here.. what i write is the TRUTH! and nothing but the truth!

It's fun! challeging! great! and i STRONGLY encourage any youth, exspecially youth leaders to GO for YLDP! Don't just think about it.. GO!

Beautiful Soul

Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney,

Weird tempo this song's got. Not likeable at first but after a while, it's nice to hear, exspecially when u hear the lyrics. In a world where there's negativity and selfishness everywhere, this is one of the rare more-or-less selfless and matured songs sung by young guys these days.

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

SMKTM: A confused school

Seriously, SMKTM is certainly a confused school. It should b called SMK Confusion. Why? Allow me to explain...

My school is like, THE religious (Islam) school. There's prayer time for the muslims TWICE during school hours in the afternoon session. At one time, guys n girls cant sit next to each other in class. Not even in the same row! Girls n guys dun line up next to each other. Then, we have a separate guys stairs n a girls stairs. N of course, separate toilets.. in the main block. In the MAIN block, ok..

Next thing we know, there's a unisex toilet in the form 5 block! But that's not all. The school also provided mirrors on the ceiling for ppl outside the cubicles to look IN the cubicles! Interesting! OK, i admit it's not really mirrors. The mirrors are actually the lights which reflects like a mirror.

So, my school is doing all sorts of things to make sure guys n girls dun get to be too close, but at the same time, they provided us with a unisex toilet n 'mirrors' for ppl outside to peep in the cubicles! Where is the logic of it all?

In conclusion, SMKTM is a seriously confused n interesting school.

World map on me

Just when i thought the chain sickness thing I had since last month has finally ended, did i realise that it was just wishful thinking. I just HAD to come up with some other so called sickness. I thought went through all the little sicknesses imaginable in the past month already but I forgot all about allergy rash. I was so thoughfully reminded about it when I got it.

Allergy rash is SOOO annoying, irritating n frustrating! It itches like CRAZY n spreads faster if it's scratched. So i cant scratch it n i have to endure the feeling of being freshly bitten by thousands of mosquitos. Lotions n medicines applied on the rash doesnt work. So all I can do now is wait for it to go off. While waiting, it naturally got worse, cos I cant 100% restrain myself from scratching. Last night, i had a great big rash the shape of Asia n another smaller one the shape of Australia on my left leg. I also had Kepulauan Filipina along my belt line. Next morning, Asia and Australia drifted to my right leg and the Kepulauan Filipina disappeared (a tsunami probably came over my body while i was sleeping and shifted Australia n Asia, and drowned the Kepulauans). America and South America appeared this afternoon on my back. How wonderful. So hard to scratch some more.

I really hope a it all disappears soon n that the chain sicknesses thing I'm experiencing will come to an end. I've had enough of all this sicknesses. For those of you who didn't know, I've been getting different sickness after different sickness since i came back from SSS Camp n YLDP last December. I'd have about one or 2 days break after getting well before i get another kind of sickness for a few days.. and it goes on and on. *sigh*

Please, pray for me to get well and for this chain sicknesses thing to end! I have NO idea why i came up with this allergy rash. I cant trace what I'm allergic to.

Back to school

Guess what? I'm back in school! Yippee!!

I'm just SOOO eagerly studying non-stop, very joyfully having fun with my homework, and encountering the oh-so-wonderful back-to-school experience all over again! Oh! the joy! To bury myself in my books, to savour the reunion with my ever faithful school bag, undoubtedly wonderful school shoes and ever beautiful light blue n snow white school uniform, to crack the secret codes of the nombor asas-es, and having my blind eyes open to the wonder and magic of janjang, to have the honour to witness the movements of the shining and ever glorified bandul hanging by the delicate string, to learn of the exotic and glorious history of our great Malaysia and the journey of the dear courageous Imams and oh! I'm just overflowing with joy that school has finally started once again! *extra overjoyed expression*

You must be thinking, 'this girl is CRAZY!! Posessed! a total genious! nerd! watever.. oh man, she's weird!' But don't worry, i meant the total opposite of what i typed up there. Read this? I meant the total opposite of what i typed! Just repeating in case u missed that line. I dont want u thinking I'm a total nutcase.

I can hardly believe the 2004 year end school holidays is over! It just FLEW by! Absolutely flew by. I guess it's cos I wasnt staying home for days or weeks in total.

First day of school and I'm already late. What a way to start of the new school year. Just shows how much enthusiastic i was bout going to school again. However, once i was more awake, all the determination to be a good student this year that i accumulated from SSS Camp n YLDP, came rushing back to me. But school as usual just LOVES snatching that all away.

I was unmercifully reminded on how crazily insanely out-of-the-worldly utterly BORING physics class can be. And to make things worse, this year's physics teacher is like worse than my expressionless n monotonous form 4 physics teacher (i never thought it was possible). This year's physics teacher is TOTALLY monotonous.

It's going to be a GREAT BIG tug-of war between my determination to be a good student and the ever faithful dementor-like school. I'm not letting my determination go without putting up a great big fight that the dementor-like school will never forget. Wahahahaha...

SPM year: Suffer?

A new year has come. And it's just not any normal year. It's SPM year. Ooohhh.. scary n long suffering year!!! Yeah rite.

I dont understand what's with everyone saying it's like, a tough n difficult year, u're gonna suffer, you wont get to play at all, you'll have to study 24/7, you'll get white hair if u havent already pulled it all out, you're not going to be able to be active in SSS anymore, u're gonna end up looking like einstein... n the horror stories just go on n on n on...

Well, come on! Cut with the crap! It's just a major school exam year! Of course it's gonna b tough, I'll have to study hard, don't play so much..(maybe), but it doesnt mean it's not gonna be fun! [Hey, I'm not saying studying is fun, ok. I dislike studying just as much as any normal teenager.]

There are other and exams around that are MUCH more difficult than SPM year. Why dont people tell these horror stories to ppl who are taking REALLY MAJOR exams like their ACCAs, degrees, diplomas or watever other higher education exams around? Those exams are DEFINITELY tougher than SPM and MUCH more studying is required for those exams.

The stupider part is, if u ask ppl who have gone through form 5, the majority of them will tell u that form 5 is the BEST year of their ENTIRE schooling life. So, tell me, what's with the horror stories? I don't get it! Not to mention sickening n tiring to hear it over n OVER again!