SPM year: Suffer? Yes, suffer.

And now i see.. and now i know..

SPM year aint as fun as my ex-form 5 friends claimed it to be. Yes, the friendships are great, having a block all to ourselves (top 6 form 5 classes) no need to share with any other class is great too, ruling the school cos you're the most senior there among the students (the new form 6-s arent counted cos they're new. It's not their territory) makes one feel big and authoritive and the right to fully use the 'sombong and sarcastic form 5' thing is actually quite fun cos it makes the younger ones so terrified of you it's sometimes funny. Little things like that is fun, but the important thing in being in form 5 is the one that sucks the most and bring about the suffering.

Now that i've finally discovered the real and hidden suffering behing the pretty picture my ex-form 5 friends painted, i wished i believed what the adults and long ago students who are more 'real'. The very same that got me annoyed at the beginning of the year. I wrote about it in my very first blog entry at the beginning of the year. Had i believed them, i would've been more prepared to face this suffering.

Aint any fun at all, studying from morning to afternoon to evening to night to early morning, and then it repeats itself again the next day, and the next and so on.. There's so much to study, you wont know which one to study first. Which subject should i choose? Would it be form 4 or form 5? Which chapter? Which sub chapter? Should do excercises or just study from the book? Should i work on learning things i never understood or strengten my knowledge on stuff i already know?

Now, i understand why many kept saying 'It's a tough n difficult year', 'u're gonna suffer', 'you wont get to play at all', 'you'll have to study 24/7', 'you'll get white hair if u havent already pulled it all out', 'you're not going to be able to be active in SSS anymore', 'u're gonna end up looking like einstein'.. n all the other horror stories that just went on n on n on... It's cos it's true. I've going through it now.. well, except for the white hair and einstein part. However i do look more or less like a panda bear.

There's only so little time left. What with pressure from everywhere, i'd feel guilty for relaxing. To emphasise my point, i gtg now.. now is one the rare time i get to on9, and it's not even for long, that's y i gtg now. Gotta go study *sigh*